8 Best Ways to Prepare For & Follow Through With a Natural Birth

I never expected to have a natural birth and I definitely didn’t plan on it during the beginning of my first to term pregnancy. My thought early on was that I would just have a cesarean section. Not by choice but because that’s the way it was in my family. I’m one of three sisters and with each of our births my mother had a c-section. Then, when my older sister had her two children she had sections with both. I just assumed that cesarean sections ran in our family. Even as I read through all my pregnancy books I didn’t give the idea of a natural birth much thought. One of my best friends was pregnant before me and she wanted a natural birth and I remember wishing her well and being excited for her but again, it just wasn’t for me. Then, more than halfway through my pregnancy my younger sister who loved kids and was very much into watching doctor shows recommended I watch, The Business of Being Born.

Ricki Lake’s film, The Business of Being Born, changed my perspective on EVERYTHING. From my birth to nursing that movie opened the flood gates for me and made me realize that I could have so many more options for myself and my child but that I would need to be my own advocate. Luckily for me, I was pregnant in Madrid where there were more options available and being your own advocate was easy for me as someone with private health insurance. I was in a country that offers great medical resources even if you don’t because there healthcare is universal.

Up until the beginning of my third trimester I thought I had it all figured out. I had a nice ob/gyn that had been recommended by a family friend. I Wallis go into the hospital they’d do all things they did and I’d come out with a baby, probably after a csection. Now with eyes wide open I went about finding a doctor who would not be invasive and would help deliver my baby on my own terms. Luckily, I had friends who helped point me in the right direction along with the midwife from my birthing classes. In Spain when you’re pregnant with your first child, you get weeks of birthing classes for you and your spouse. Inspired by a number of friends I decided to take one given by a midwife who unbeknownst to me focused on homeopathy. She was AMAZING and completely in line with helping women achieve empowered birthing experiences. She recommended some doctors and I found the right fit.

My doctor was a Godsend she was an ob/gyn with a major hospital but she had her own birthing center within the hospital and a team of midwives in her practice. The perfect compromise for a mom wanting a natural birth and a nervous first time dad. Once I had my team in place, I began to earnestly prepare for my natural birthing experience.

1. Immerse Yourself In Learning:

The more you know about the process and what to expect the better and more confident you will feel. It’s like professional athletes watching film before a big event. I watched a lot of videos to help me learn about what to expect and so that I could begin to envision my plan for why my birth would look like.Those were great because they taught about birthing positions, ways to soothe, and how your partner could help get involved. I also made my husband watch a few with me that were specifically about how he could help me get through contractions and help me stay in the zone, etc. I also read articles and information in birthing books.

2. Exercise:

Our midwife from the birthing classes mentioned that giving birth was like a marathon and I truly took that to heart. Giving birth is a lot of physical and mental work and I knew that my body needed to be up to the challenge. Throughout my pregnancy I was active but once I set my heart on a natural birth I made sure I was not messing around. I walked everywhere! Making sure I’d get at least a mile per day. I also learned to swim while I was pregnant, I didn’t want to have a baby that I’d be scare to go to the beach or pool with. I would swim three times per week. I also made sure I took the stairs as much as I could, on the train, at the hospital, anywhere I could. If you want to have a natural birth you need to be physically active to withstand the hours of stamina required and that you can only obtain through physical activity.

3. Work On Your Mental Game:

My birthing classes with our midwife were invaluable to my birthing experience and a few of the exercises she did with us really helped me understand the experience beforehand and got me through during the process. Your mind will be your most powerful tool in getting through the ordeal of laboring to have a child.

The first thing I’d like to share is an exercise that helps you understand how labor and contractions help your body prepare to withstand the pain of dilating. Extend your index finger on a table and picture slamming a book on top of it full force. That would be extremely painful and you would be in excruciating pain. Now instead lightly tap your finger against the edge of a table every second, then after 10 seconds speed up and increase intensity some more, then after another 10 seconds speed up and increase intensity again. If you really kept going after about a minute you would have really banged up your finger but you wouldn’t feel it because that initial tapping sends a message to your nerve endings and your body starts to numb your finger so you don’t feel the pain as badly bu the end. This exercise helps you understand what contractions are doing for you while you’re on birth.
At first your contractions are mild and feel light light menstruales cramps. These are like the light BraxtonHicks contractions you may have already been feeling throughout your pregnancy and light cramps you had every month while you menstruated. Then the contractions gradually get more painful as you continue to labor but your pain receptors have already started releasing endorphins and numbing your body.
I’d like to take opportunity to share that actually delivering your baby is not painful at all, don’t fall for what you see in movies directed by men. By that point you feel release and there is no pain. The worst of your pain will be over by the time you need to push.

I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and butterflies. You have to be prepared to experience serious pain. The beauty of it is that it’s Pain With A Purpose. That’s the second lesson. You have to be willing to accept the pain and understand that each contraction is bringing you one step closer to meeting your new baby. The second pet of that is that the pain is finite. The good thing with contractions is that you know they end. Yes it’s painful when you’re in the middle of one but guess what, you get a break to regroup and reset in between each one. When they are closest together you are closest to it being over and that’s great news. This is all perspective and if you can keep in mind that this pain won’t last forever and it will be over soon then you can do this. Make sure your birthing coach is there to help you through in the moments where you are overcome and may forget.

Your mental game is what will make or break you. If you have a strong mindset and a good coach that can reel you in when you start to waver then you will be solid.

4. Give Yourself a MANTRA:

The last thing I learned from my midwife was a mantra. She is going be of my reasons for believing in affirmations. At our birthing class our midwife gave is the mantra: I trust, I open, I surrender. I repeated that mantra everyday so that I would remember it for my labor. When I went into early labor I would repeat it to myself and I had full confidence that my labor would go smoothly and quickly because I was open to letting my body do all the work necessary to deliver my baby safely. I was not going to let my head get in the way with fear. Fear will lock you up and stop your body’s natural responses. You have to trust that you were built for this and that our bodies are perfectly designed for the perfection that is creation through childbirth.

5. Get the Right Coach:

During my birth I thought my mother would be my go to because she had birthed three children and been at multiple births for friends and family. Once I started training for a home birth I realized that my mom may not because we were living in another country and we could not guarantee that she would be there in time for the birth if the baby came early. I made sure that I shared videos with my husband and we were both on the same page in regards to my goals and the birth plan.

During labor my husband was AMAZING. He was so on top of everything. He had taken the few videos that I had him watch very seriously and he offered amazing support during my labor. Even the medical staff said how impressed they were with his performance as a coach. He massaged me, he advocate for me in all the right ways, and he kept me grounded. I remember at one point when I almost wanted to give up he reminded me that the pain was temporary and he brought me back to my focus.

My mom on the other hand, was panicked the whole time and nervous the whole time. She was in a foreign country and experiencing my labor at a birthing center which was something she that was also completely foreign to her. She could not understand why the lights were dim and why the focus was not on getting me on IV and on a bed straight away. That was her normal from births in the US. Imagine if she was my coach, I would have never made it!

6. Focus on Breathing and Calming Your Mind:

The most important this is learning ways to ground yourself. Breathing is super important and I encourage you to learn some breathing techniques to help you push through the pain. For me, my midwife trained us to take deep exhales through the pain. I didn’t need to scream through anything but I did do moaning to help vocalize through the pain. If you can work on meditating beforehand so you can place yourself in a quiet space while you’re laboring that is also a huge help.

7. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea:

Please get cleared by your ob/gyn or midwife first, but I swear by Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. In Europe it is commonly used. My doctor recommended it starting at week 36 and she said it would help me labor more effectively. Studies have shown that Red Raspberry Leaf Tea will help reduce length of labor and likelihood of interventions. With my first labor I went in at midnight at 1cm and then when labor finally started at around 3am it only lasted about 4 and a half hours. That’s incredibly fast for a first time mom.

8. Stay Positive:

You got this, mama! Nothing will make you stronger than caring for your baby for nine months as your body morphs and everything changes. You’ve already done something miraculous and created a new life inside of you and now labor is the last part. If you stay positive there is nothing you can’t get through. I believe in you and you need to believe yourself, too. I can’t wait for you to experience the beauty of having your labor go exactly the way you visualized and hold your beautiful baby for the first time.

I can’t wait to hear about your birth story! In the meantime, please reach out to me with any questions.